What's self-confidence? What's self-esteem? Is self-confidence inherent? How to intuitively enhance self-confidence and self-esteem? What are the counter-intuitive techniques to boost self-confidence? What are the practices that assist in improving one's self-awareness? How is self-awareness, self-love, self-image connected to self-confidence and self-esteem?
Self-confidence refers to the trust in one's own abilities and potential. Self-esteem, on the other hand, relates to our self-worth and how we view ourselves, which is shaped by our beliefs and opinions about who we are, and can often be challenging to alter.
Self-confidence is a powerful tool that can help individuals achieve their goals and overcome obstacles in life. It is the belief in oneself and one's abilities which can lead to success and happiness.
A. INTUITIVE APPROACH:
Self-confidence is something that is innate; it is something that needs to be honed and nurtured over time.
Why is self-confidence an innate part of your personality?
Many psychologists argue that self-confidence is not an inherent aspect of one's personality. However, this view is debatable; consider, for instance, the innate confidence of an infant.
An infant's mind is like a blank slate, untainted by distortion or bias. It is devoid of beliefs and prejudices, not judging but simply being a part of everything and everyone. It merely observes all that is around it. It can touch anything or move wherever it pleases. It is fearless and confident. This trait is often observed in young boys who experience a surge of adrenaline, prompting them to play, run, and engage in mischievous acts.
While this behavior is sometimes labeled as immaturity, it also reflects their confidence and willingness to explore. They believe they can do anything! In some ways, a lack of awareness or ignorance can be a blessing.
Children possess the curiosity and confidence to believe they can do or learn anything. This is why many children are often asked, "What do you want to become when you grow up?" This question is quite strategic; it allows a teacher or parent to plan for the child's future based on their passions and intuitions.
Bruce H. Lipton, a renowned cell biologist, often compares the human mind to a computer. He explains that our subconscious mind operates like a programmed computer, running on the beliefs and behaviors we learn, especially during the first seven years of life. These early experiences form the "programs" that influence our thoughts, actions, and overall life.
'Dogma'—the archnemesis of your self-confidence and self-esteem:
As the child grows, the domestication process is intensified. Gradually, parents, teachers and friends teach the kid 'good manners', not to speak vulgar words, to dress well, to greet and respect elders along with ethical and socially acceptable behaviors. This cannot be considered malevolent as it is an inevitable aspect for everyone.
Depending on the individual and his upbringing, the domestication process has both good as well as bad effects on a person.
At a certain stage, it becomes unnecessary to sway the youth with directives. Parents ought to permit them to make their own decisions, to err, and to glean lessons from these errors. Rather than imposing moral behavior on children without explanation, it is crucial to discuss the reasoning behind morality and the consequences of immoral actions. Children sometimes exhibit cognitive dissonance, when discipline is enforced, they will be provoked to disobey. Providing logical explanations can help them adjust their behavior.
Early experience tremendously influences your self-confidence and self-esteem. They can be seen as a framework for self-confidence and self-esteem in young people, unless there is a total breakdown and reconstruction of one's personality and belief systems.
Everyone and everything around you, in a way, is having an influence on you! Resulting in modified thinking and behaviors.
Society and the resultant social standards have an influence on you and make you seek validation or comply with the set standards. You can observe that the majority are just blindly running the rat race, they are unaware where they are heading towards and when or where the race ends.
Society is obsessed with 'money'. If you are earning less or no money, they will treat you like trash. On the contrary, if you are earning more money, even at the cost of your health and happiness, they cherish you! Society often overlooks the value of individuals who may earn less yet lead a healthy and contented life. This oversight can undoubtedly impact their self-esteem and confidence.
Money is a vector! Inherently, it's not valuable! Its value is derived from its utility!
While money is crucial for survival, it is not essential to equate it with success. Success is indeed subjective; what may be considered success by one person could be viewed as failure by another. While money may be a component of success, understanding the purpose behind earning more is essential.
In a mediocre society, the prevailing expectation is to play it safe: secure a job, earn a respectable salary, take out loans, marry well, have children, and lead an average life. Your relatives intervene in every crucial decision of your life. They attempt to ensnare you in the abyss of dogma, imposing mediocrity at every moment of your existence. Succumbing to this snare ensures a lack of peace. It undermines your self-confidence and erodes your self-esteem.
Constantly seeking external validation can undermine your confidence. Remember, true confidence comes from within!
High self-confidence and self-esteem are the byproducts of self-love and self-belief.
Belief is the foundation of life. You are forced to believe in something or someone, why? It's said that 99% of life is uncontrollable; only 1% of life is controllable. The only absolutely controllable aspect is the present moment. Since, majority of the aspects of life are uncontrollable, this makes them highly uncertain. Due to high levels of uncertainty, the human mind remains anxious. To cope with this anxiety, beliefs are created.
Self-confidence and self-esteem reflect one's self-love, self-image, and self-belief. They are all interrelated.
Self-Image & Self-Love:
Loving yourself is paramount, considering all that you've endured. You've faced suffering and witnessed numerous hardships in life. Yet, you persist for a purpose. You are your own best friend and the one constant companion in your life.
Self-love is quite self-evident. Yet, how can one be certain of true self-love or love for others? It's reflected in one's self-image. A positive self-image indicates genuine self-love and the ability to love others authentically. Echoing the adage, "Charity begins at home," similarly, "Love starts with oneself."
Self-image is essentially the comprehensive perspective you hold of yourself. Each activity you engage in during your waking hours creates subconscious impressions, which in turn alter your self-image. Self-belief is the belief in yourself. It can be the belief in God, life, goodness, karma or whatever.
As you engage in productive activities that align with your long-term vision and mission, impressions are formed on your subconscious mind, which in turn alters your self-image. This fosters self-love and enhances self-belief, which in turn boosts self-confidence and self-esteem.
Low self-confidence and self-esteem often stem from insufficient self-love, a distorted self-image, and a lack of belief in oneself.
B. COUNTER-INTUITIVE APPROACH:
Enhancing Self-Awareness for Bettering Self-Image.
Occasionally, a lack of self-awareness may lead to a skewed perception of oneself. It's important to recognize that not everyone can excel at everything simultaneously. However, each person possesses unique talents and passions that have the potential to effect a significant change in their life.
Enhancing self-awareness can help an individual understand their own strengths and passions, providing an answer to the question, 'What must I do to achieve success?' Success is ultimately attained by leveraging and capitalizing on one's passions and abilities.
Self-awareness enables one to think critically as well as strategically, this fosters concentration, which empowers one to sidestep activities that impede progress, including distractions. It conserves energy by channeling your focus towards tasks that are truly important.
Self-awareness can be improved through mindful observation of oneself, maintaining a non-judgmental and detached perspective. This approach stems from a Buddhist meditation technique called 'Vipassana'. Engaging in Vipassana meditation deepens self-awareness by providing insights into one's emotions, behaviors, and ultimately, one's personality.
STRENGTH, WEAKNESS, OPPORTUNITIES & THREATS (SWOT) Analysis:
Self-awareness can be enhanced with strength, weakness, opportunity and threat (SWOT) analysis.
It's a common belief that only businesses conduct periodic SWOT analyses. However, individuals can also apply this technique to themselves. Conducting a SWOT analysis can be beneficial occasionally, especially when you're about to make significant decisions in your life.
The power of SWOT analysis lies in objectivity! If you are able to objectively analyze your STRENGTH, WEAKNESS, OPPORTUNITIES & THREATS, this will enable BETTER DECISION MAKING. If you are biased, prejudiced and distort the facts about you, then there's no point in doing this analysis. Isolate your emotions, attachments towards yourself, while analyzing yourself. Then you will be able to see yourself as you are. This improves self-awareness, promotes self-analysis and assists in better decision making.
STRENGTH: This includes your values, skills, education, experience, persons, assets or anything that has the potential to make you withstand the horrors of life, enable you to earn you a better & comfortable living.
WEAKNESS: This includes any beliefs, thoughts, traumas, illness or disabilities that may oppose your progress or that can be a detriment to your project. Weakness is the opposite of strength. These can become hindrances to your very existence, if they aren't tackled well.
OPPORTUNITY: This is related to your education, skills or STRENGTH. This refers to the implied effects of STRENGTH, that can enable you to lead a good life. Ex. You are good in sales; this can offer you the job of a salesman.
THREAT: This is related to WEAKNESS that's not handled well in the past. This includes any pending cases or crimes committed by you in the past, not known to anybody. This includes any connection to crimes or anti-social activities or anything that permanently damages the prospect of completing the project.
SWOT analysis enhances self-awareness, leading to a clearer understanding of our mission and vision. Passion plays a critical role in determining your mission and vision. It's essential to cultivate a strategic mindset and ensure all activities are in harmony with our long-term goals. Activities that obstruct progress towards these objectives should be eliminated or avoided.
While we cannot reverse past actions, we can acknowledge and address them, mitigate their negative impacts, or shape our projects and lives to be resilient against potential threats.
Other Techniques to Enhance Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem:
Setting realistic goals is another important aspect of building self-confidence. By setting achievable goals and working towards them, individuals can build a sense of accomplishment and boost their self-esteem. Celebrating small victories along the way can also help in boosting self-confidence and motivation.
Surrounding oneself with positive and supportive people can also have a significant impact on self-confidence. Being around people who believe in you and encourage you can help in building self-confidence and self-esteem. On the other hand, being around negative and toxic individuals can have a detrimental effect on one's self-confidence.
Taking care of oneself physically and mentally is also important in building self-confidence. Eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest can help in improving one's overall well-being and self-confidence. Practicing self-care and self-love can also help in boosting self-confidence and self-esteem.
Challenging oneself and stepping out of one's comfort zone is another way to build self-confidence. By taking risks and trying new things, individuals can push themselves to grow and develop new skills. Overcoming challenges and obstacles can help in building resilience and self-confidence.
It is important to remember that self-confidence is not about being perfect or never making mistakes. It is about believing in oneself and having the courage to take on new challenges. Making mistakes and facing failures are a natural part of life, and learning from them can help in building self-confidence and resilience.
In conclusion, self-confidence is a valuable trait that can help individuals achieve their goals and lead a fulfilling life. By developing self-awareness, setting realistic goals, surrounding oneself with positive people, taking care of oneself, and challenging oneself, individuals can build self-confidence and achieve success. Remember, self-confidence is a journey, not a destination, and it is something that can be cultivated and nurtured over time. So, believe in yourself, take on new challenges, and watch your self-confidence soar.
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